Friday, December 29, 2017

The Unwelcome Roommate!



''I had a room self contained to myself in a compound of 15 rooms. An old building of what used to be a Hotel with chalets in the center of ikeja owned by the Eldest of the Bruce Family, It was popularly known as House 4.

My room was situated downstairs first on the right, where I lived to tackle the everyday Lagos hassles.

My nightmare began as soon as I called up a senior colleque I looked up to just to check up on her.I will call her Nana.
She immediately told me had problems with her boyfriend who had thrown her out and seized her international passport and asked where I was staying and if she could move in with me,
Shocked because we were never close, I tried to describe where I lived and was very sure she wouldn’t like it one bit. But she said ( you are my sister and even if you live in a piggery, I will stay there with you)
Nana,s Desperation got me worried and on a second thought I was like What if I hadn’t call? Considering the fact that we have never been close. All I know about her is that she comes from my state from a place close to my own place,
Unfortunately for Nana, I was meant to travel home the next day as my mother was about to have a Surgery so I needed to be there.

Nana woke me up every morning with calls asking when I will get back to Lagos to take her to my place, Telling me how much she spends in a day at the Hotel she checked into.

She so bothered me with calls until I had to leave my mother and return back to Lagos to take Nana to my house.
I returned straight to her Hotel, spent the night there and took her to my place the next day, Nana had introduced her current boyfriend to me as soon as I arrived.

On the first day,We arrived at my place in good time and Nana sat on the bed while I tried to do some chores.

She was so engrossed with her phone and she only looked up when she wanted to ask a question like Do you have an Air conditioner? Is there water here? How frequent is your light?bla bla bla
I got everything in place and just then Her boyfriend found the place and stepped into the house with a facial expression that clearly stated SURPRISE,
In his own words he said( But the place is not bad ,People hardly help out in Lagos so you should be grateful to this lady who has decided to help you. Come give me a hug,,,Thank you so much Nne)
Just then, Nana showered her boyfriend with serious abuses, accusing him of hugging me because I had a Bigger butt than her.She also said she had heard how I snatch peoples men. I was dazed as I watched this man shedding tears out of pain and disgrace.

So this was just the first day of 6 months spent in my room which was total WAR''

Maybe I should have changed my mind since the first day was this bad. Anyway, The next days I was running around trying to get her acquainted to the house and the area and that included doing Errands for Nana which she never got satisfied with. It was from one complain to another about the things I buy for her, either the bag of pure water was torn, this is not her usual brand of milk or the Indomie is broken, Go back and change it. Sweep here, repeat the sweeping, mop there, pick that up for me, shift this one and ohhhhhhh I practically became a Maid.

Nana travelled to Port Harcourt 3 days later and I got so relieved and kept thinking What have I done to myself? Few days later she called from PH and was Crying seriously saying how her friend abandoned her in a Hotel room and had not a dime to get her anywhere. So I called up someone I had known from childhood to help out. This person is Adokiye, He inherited his Fathers business so he is very well to do. I was so excited when he agreed to help because I knew he would definitely send something to me as he was very generous with $$$, He hardly spends Naira.

My mum has a successful surgery and I was planning to go see her but I had to wait for Nana to get back to Lagos before I leave. When Nana arrived Lagos airport I also asked her to help me get money from someone in an Aviation office around the Airport, One thing affiliated to Nana is Lies, She can Lie for Africa .The kind of Lies that changes Lives. She got back home and I was so excited to see what Adokiye sent to me, Out of shock I couldn’t touch the money because it was 5k.

 I mean, Even if you meet Adokiye unexpectedly on the way. He will certainly give you about 200$. I asked if her if she got the money from the Aviation guy and she nearly even fought me for just asking. The money was still on the table when a neighbour came in with a small LG phone, Nana liked the phone and wanted me to help buy it for her. It was easy because I had already planned to go fix my hair and nails at the Ikeja underbridge area which was close to computer village where I could buy the phone for her.

Nana gave me 5k to buy her the phone. I still did not touch the other 5k on the table, I had decided to use it for my trip since it was the exact amount I needed. She was bathing when I got home with the phone so I started charging the phone for her. As soon as she stepped out the bathroom, without even coming close to see the phone properly, she condemned the phone and immediately grabbed the 5k she gave me from Adokiye. She called me names, said all sorts of evil things. Taking the 5k back meant that my trip was automatically canceled and I just needed to travel the next day otherwise I will miss the thanksgiving at home.

I did not need this phone. I was in a very confused state, On my way back to computer village to return the phone, The bike man refused to take money from me and he said ( Anything wey be the problem tell am to God so try to put yourself together you hear) And that was when I realised I was crying.

Phone couldn’t be taken back because money was non refundable from SLOT. And this phone was such a bad memory for me so I gave it out and felt a bit better when the person kept saying thank you to me. Got back home and Nana said she was leaving my house soon. If only she knew how happy I was. Sitting outside looking very sad then suddenly a jeep pulled up in front of me and behold, It was a very big friend of mine who decided to visit me for the first time, a big surprise though. I was not ashamed to show him my room where Nana was relaxing her wicked body.
I made an introduction and Nana sounded very rude the man. I saw him off after sometime and he gave me money so I activated my travel mode,,,,,I moved first thing in the morning, woke Nana up and told her where to leave my keys when she moves out. I was so happy I would return back to my room without her and her troubles. Really I was so happy at home that my sister noticed it. 4 days later, I saw Nana,s call and I was dancing before I picked thinking she wanted to say goodbye and that she had dropped my keys. But the story changed.

She said,I have forgiven you because I'm very happy right now,that your friend that came by the other day has made me so comfortable,He has bought provisions ,toiletries and as we speak A decoder is being installed for me. And I said to her but it should be me forgiving you and not the other way round. I became sad again but then I got a bit excited Hmmm a decoder?who wouldn’t be happy.

Got back to Lagos few days later but before I got home Nana had called that I buy her some medicines on my way home of which she had shouted the living day light out of me and even to the chemist guy who got the description through my phone and the guy was like, Hey tell that to take things easy OK.
Handed her the medicine and settled down to see the changes in my room, I tried to ask how it happened since she was so rude my big friend on his visit. Anyway, I got the remote to check how it was functioning but she took it from me. I also tried to take some flakes and milk but she returned it to its pack. I actually thought she had had a bad day but it happened the next days and I understood it was just her. Finally, my big friend visited while I was home but guess what? He wasn’t talking to me, Nana had cooked up stories of what I never said about this man I barely knew him to the extent of such stories. I confronted him and got myself cleared and things seemed fine again.

He came very frequently now dating Nana. He drops money on each visit and he would say Buy whatever you need, first I thought we would share 50 50 but for wia. Nana would send me to the market to buy as many as 4 to chickens then I will cook with her and she would have me prepare everything from onions to pepper and when we are ready to eat she wouldn’t let me touch the food. She would say things like I no come Lagos to feed anybody.

This was soon after my trip from Home and I was so broke, Nana wasn’t making things easy at all. Lost few of my friends then because Nana walks them out harshly especially when I wasn’t at home and even if I were present she does same. Yes I was so helpless because she overpowered me. I'm sure you don’t want to know how many times I went to be so hungry while there was a full pot of chicken stew in my own pot cooked with my Gas cooker. My room soon became so unbearable for me as I was practically working and cleaning, doing errands, and stuff .

Only Neighbors and close friends believed that was my place because I became a maid to a Tigress. A neighbour once came into the room to say to Nana Why don’t you take your friend as your younger sister and live in peace? Of course she nearly tore her face for ever mentioning I was younger.

I ran into an old friend who was looking for where to buy handbags for his wife, So I decided to bring him home to buy from Nana (she had quite a few she was selling then,) I did that so I could make some gain to help myself. I doubled up the price which he didn’t argue at all. Surprisingly He paid in Dollars and it was 500. For the few things he took, I knew he just giving me that though. I was dancing as I saw him off, ran back to the house to calculate and take out Nana,s money but she was on top of her voice claiming it was money for her goods and there was no Extra.Next thing she started communicating with the guy and he was even coming to visit her not me.
I managed to find money to get myself going. Something funny was that Nana cooks and would let me touch her food but I cook and open up my pot for her to serve herself and she takes the best part of the food, Yes she eats my own food graciously.

I remember once I wanted to take chicken from her pot and she said to me ( I Know your parents didn’t give you chicken to eat but you cant have mine) I had to remind her that My dads poultry was the best in town when I was growing up so I grew up eating lots of chicken and eggs. I made her understand its just normal to help a friend in need just like I'm accommodating her. I also told her that if this room was hers, she would not accommodate me or any other. A friend of mine wanted to find a particular channel on TV but she took the remote from him. There was never a time she went out so I can have the room to myself, she only entered the bathroom or stood by the door. If I receive or make calls she will push me away from the decoder area and tell me that my phone waves will damage it ( LAUGH) So I answered or made my calls outside.
Had a neighbour upstairs who was also walked out of my room a few times he came looking for me. we were not so close then but I started spending more time in his room as a matter of fact I was sleeping in his room because mine was too hot for me. This got us closer and we started Dating even though I didn’t feel right dating a neighbour, I will call him Doka. Things were so bad that when my tissue paper finishes which she uses with me.

Nana would buy hers,keep it in her bag, roll them up in small portions and store them in the pillow case so she would take from there to go pee. She said so many unpleasant things to me. I got a job one day and I decided to give myself a treat by making fried rice. I got all my ingredients ready, A guy was selling some fairly used fridges outside the house and he allowed us use one of them because my fridge wasn’t so good then.

All I had in that freezer was my sausages I bought for my rice, I was busy when the guy came calling for us to clear up the freezer because he has a buyer for it. When Nana ran off to clear it I was relaxed. She said she transferred the things to another freezer. Next day I went looking for my sausages but it wasn’t there.

Searched all the fridges, asked Nana,she told me off,asked the guy, he helped me search and it wasn’t there. Then the guy suddenly asked, Was it in a black bag because the buyer went away with a black stuff in the fridge and I thought it was trash. So obviously Nana transferred only her things and left mine behind.
I quickly sent for another pack, made my rice, offered it to her and she ate it very well. (Food is nothing to me) In the next compound was also a woman I took as an aunt. Her Elder sister is my Mums best friend. So with her it felt like family especially as we spoke same language. Initially I and Nana had times we talked at length but I found out that everything I told her she changed it and made it sound the other way round or horrible. Like I told her the house caretaker was very nice to me, he personally made sure I got my room in that house. Nana told him something else and I lost his friendship. So at time there was court injunction and everyone was asked to quit the house, Infact we were all thrown out that morning.

I couldn’t find favour with the Lawyer anymore because of Nana Mythical stories, It was only by Gods grace I was able to win my room back and I paid my rent immediately and we moved back in. So when my big friend came he refunded my money back and I shared it with Nana.

One very stubborn friend of mine came around by herself after I kept stopping her not to come around because I didn’t want her to get insulted. Shared my experience with her, it sounded so impossible to her that she promised to fight for me. She is quite older though. She refused to leave, stayed with us for 3days to observe things by herself.Folding up tissues, guarding her food,hiding her remote, hiding toothpaste. She also witnessed how I cooked, served her and she ate. On the 3rd day she said to me So everything you told me is true because I have seen for myself and I will not let this happen to you.

She was so hurt that I took her for a stroll and as God would have it we ran into Nana,s boyfriend that came in the first time she moved in ( Remember?) I introduced him to my friend as Nana,s boyfriend and he was like Do you want me to die young? Anyway, he bought us drinks and we got talking, he was shocked to hear Nana was still at my place, He showed me some horrible text messages Nana sent to him about me that first day.the reason she was so engrossed to her phone. But he said there is a particular one he would never let me see or else I will kill myself.
There and then I made up my mind to take back my room and regain my peace money or no money. Got home that evening so determined to throw her out. Woke her up that I needed us to talk. She laid back and was wondering how I sound that mean to her. Woke her up again and told her I wanted her out of my room.

She got up and the first thing she grabbed was her decoder even before she started proper packing. Moved in with a next door neighbour for a night then made calls to the caretaker and a vacant room was given to her upstairs, SO SHE STILL BECAME A NEIGHBOUR. And this is was where the real Evil started, It was such a Competitive life she lived.

IT CONTINUES......

Culled from SDK Blog

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