Facebook Sub; Joy Isi Bewaji Vs Chisom Ekechi. Read Post...

You gotta give it to Chisom Ekechi. She hates with her last naira. She stalks my friends patiently, eating cabin biscuit by the side, until that moment there's a disagreement. Like a true crime villain, she runs out into the street, too impatient to even put on a bra, dashes across a major road; not until she gets to the door of the "culprit" will she remember she didn't have a pair of slippers on, no bra, just the pant she slept in.

She knocks on the door and announces that she is here to help the "culprit".

"Who are you?" The culprit asks.

"My name is Ekechi. I heard your cry from across the street. From my window. I know that you had a disagreement with Joy. I was wondering, you know, if you need help. I'm your friend now. She's trying to bully you, isn't she? Sweet gal like you. I'm on your side. Can you let me in? I need to see what you look like, and  I need water."

"I don't have money to pay for your services!"

"No. No. It's free. By jove, it's free. I have my whole life dedicated to this mission. Please let me in."

The door opens, Ekechi stretches her hand out to touch the cheek of this poor soul bullied by Joy.

"Can we get to work?" Ekechi drags a stool. "Please can I get that water, and a spare bra?"

Ekechi knows my friends very well. She has counted them. She has all their information. When one falls by the way side, she ticks the name. She is certain I have fake friends. She's been asking that question for years...

"How does Joy keep real friends when she is like this? They are fake!," she declares to her heart satisfaction.

I ask the same question all the time. So her question is valid.

Why do you all like me though? Can we help Ekechi so she can sleep well at night. I mean, look at her with all her un-this-ness, yet to score any out-of-this-world friendship.

Except I don't want her to sleep well at night. Sleep will continue to evade her. Her bones are rotten but she doesn't know this yet. She's going to be in and out of institutions all of 2018 trying to cure a disease caused mainly by hate.

You will never know, Ekechi, but unfounded hate like yours is what builds me. I had an awesome 2017 because that energy you bring my way is put to good use. I love to watch you cringe every time I excel. And I know you are only one sane fibre away from running mad just knowing your constant foaming at the mouth is yet to produce real consequences, except a cake.

Poor thing.

The toughest job you can ever have is make me your problem. Your misery will never end. It continues to recycle itself.

What you have are mere hate words. What I have can literally kill your happiness.

How do you want to fight that?

Ekechi has a cape on now. Moth-eaten but will serve the purpose. She's inboxing at the moment, sending words of encouragement to a "culprit". Except this person isn't a victim of any sort. And Ekechi isn't a saviour.

She's going to keep coming out of the wood work anytime she sniffs a rot under her armpit. It's a sign that someone is unhappy with Joy. It's the "superman" sign to fly across the ocean to make a new friend.

Her greatest joy is yet to be accomplished...

That day Temidayo and I will fall apart.

Ekechi and her tattered crew will hold a party.

So invested in hate. Can you still find your way around your own issues?

*PS: Wait for it, all the people she will gather to make a response. Come with baking soda.